We all want to be connected, especially in times like these when we need one another more than ever. However, there’s a way to connect through trust, understanding and empathy. Here are 10 types who try connecting with me on LinkedIn.
The Howdy Guys– They begin with “Hello Sarat! I want to check in with you to see if you might be open to a quick chat.” A Calendly invitation is included. I do not know you and you’ve already emailed me a calendar invite. Intrusive messages don’t help. Have you requested my permission?
The Profile Grabbers– “Your profile caught my attention. I’m always looking to connect.” It seems I didn’t catch your attention, my fictitious profile did!
The Essay Writers– They begin with a question and go on a ramble that exceeds a paragraph. “Has someone on your team told you that there is a better way of doing things? Have you thought about the advantages of having a franchise?” And they will always end with a link to a webinar. Please be direct. I don’t like roundabouts- that’s so passé in marketing.
The Blog Readers– “I would love to connect. I read your blog for 30 minutes and felt that we have several things in common.” Why 30 minutes? The maximum time it will take to read my longest blog is 5 minutes (that is, if people stick to it and most often they leave after 30 seconds!)
The Skimmers– “I skimmed your profile and felt that there are so many things in common and we move in similar circles.” I don’t go around in circles, nor do I skim.
Network Captains– These are group leaders and create exclusive stuff like the “Society of High-Profile Leaders.” The invite ends with a Zoom roundtable meeting! They make me feel important and invite me to select, invitation only inner circles belonging to the few. I don’t fit into those groups. I’m just plain ordinary, so don’t spoil me!
Webinar Sellers– “Register for a webinar on AR, AI, IoT…” Like a swarm of bees zooming over a hive, they are always buzzing around and have tripled in size after the pandemic. They invite me to things my little mind can never understand. I don’t know what you are talking about.
The Pandemic Savers– “Right now the world is ending but I can help you get to your pre-pandemic profitability.” They entice me with hope! Was I ever profitable? Aren’t we all in a “forever pandemic!“
Assessment Queens– They hook me with a link to a 15- minute self-help assessment that will solve all my problems. If I hover over the link they will call me 7 times a day! I’ve taken so many assessments that I don’t need another one.
The Crazies– “Good to get connected! Hope all is well despite the crazy going on in Houston!” They despise my City and drive me nuts!
Lord, have mercy on me and let me go back to reading Seth Godin’s “Permission Marketing!”